Parenting and Peacemaking

When I was in PEPS (Programs for Early Parent Support) in the first months of my daughter's life, I met weekly with other moms whose babies were born around the same time as Naomi. In one meeting our leader asked as the ice breaker exercise, "What is one thing that you really hope your child will learn from you?" The answers were varied from fiscal responsibility to putting family first, to care for the environment. Many good responses. My answer was that I wanted Naomi to learn from me a life of faith and the importance of seeking justice and making peace.

My answer would be much the same almost three years later. So I have recently been facilitating a discussion in our adult education hour about teaching peace to children. I initiated this group because I have really wanted a forum to pool the collective wisdom of parents about strategies for teaching and modeling our discipleship of the Prince of Peace. There are so many facets to raising children to be not only non-violent, but also proactive peace-seekers, that it is both a fruitful but all too limited conversation.

In our last session we talked about the concerns of parents whose children have an excess of energy and often channel it in aggressive or violent ways, or who continue to gravitate to war toys, games and play. There were many great suggestions for creative and alternative play. One was involvement in sports and athletics. One mom of two teenage boys said that this has been the primary way that her boys have engaged in positive, directed, energy releasing activities that have the benefit of team work and goal setting built in.

I have been encouraged in some of my reading to resist the competitive urge in sports and to emphasize the satisfaction of participation, the benefits of working with the team, the joy that engaging in physical activity can bring. The lore of soccer-moms or hockey-dads speaks to the way parents can get tied up in very aggressive, competitive and even violent ways around their kids' sports. I found this great poem by Cynthia Hockmann-Chupp on the PeaceSigns website, a newsletter from MC USA's Peace and Justice Support Network.

Game of Peace

God,
As I sit here on the sidelines,
Watching the ball go back and forth, back and forth,
Help me to remember that this is a game.
It's not all about me.
It's not all about my child.

God,
Be with the referee.
It's hard to always be a fair and equitable judge.
Let your light shine through me,
As I remember that the ref, too, is your child.
And whether he is my brother in Christ,
Or God's child waiting to be discovered,
Let this be an opportunity to witness for your peace.

God,
Be with the opposing coach.
It can be tiring to work with children.
Help me to remember all the volunteer hours,
All the time away from family and friends,
Given so my child has a chance to play against another team.
Let your light shine through me,
As I remember that the opposing coach, too, is your child.
And whether she is my sister in Christ,
Or God's child waiting to be discovered,
Bless this opportunity to witness for your peace.

God,
Be with the opposing players.
They are children like my child.
Yet some have already experienced more grief in their short lives
Than I have in my long life.
Let your light shine through me,
As I remember that the opposing players are your children.

God,
As I sit here on the sidelines,
Let your light shine through me
I cannot pass the ball for my child
But I can pass the peace.